* Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? ~ ~ He did.. They just didn't show it in the movies they made of him..
* Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? ~ ~ The same reason we wring out a wash cloth after we have squeezed it dry..
* Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? ~ ~ It is actually a reinstatment fee to keep doing business there..
* What is the speed of darkness? ~ ~ Darkness has no speed.. There is only a lack of light..
* Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? ~ ~ Maybe they woke up every two hours.. grin..
* If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? ~ ~ Double zero of course..
* Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? ~ ~ Yes ,, They really do live longer..
* How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? ~ ~ WoW ,,, I don't know.. Maybe we didn't need them until then..
* Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? ~ ~ Because down on the ground all one can see is the building across the street..
* Did you ever stop and wonder...... ~ ~ About what??
* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?' ~ ~ I think his name was Adam..
* Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.' ~ ~ I think it may have been Adam that did this too..
* Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? ~ ~ It also has a very low setting.. To give everyone their own choice..
* Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? ~ ~ I don't know that..
* Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? ~ ~ Maybe they just need to wash their hands..
* Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? ~ ~ So they can keep their mind on their work ,, if they don't have to look anyone in the face..
* Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! ~ ~ They are different breeds of dogs though...
* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? ~ ~ Well they are certainly NOT quizzical!!
* If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? ~ ~ That's a Trade secret..
* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? ~ ~ Only if they are standing in water or wet their fingers first..
* Why do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? ~ ~ Why Not??
* Stop singing and read on......... ~ ~ Awwwwwwww
* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? ~ ~ No..
* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? ~ ~ My dog starts licking at me..
* Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? ~ ~ "YES!!!"